


The Cost Of Regret

by Lotornomiko



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Lion Voltron
Genre: Actually at this point I am not sure if it goes into full non con in the revamp, Allura brokering a deal because Arus needs it, Angst, Eventually veers into full on non con, F/M, I guess we will have to wait and see, Smut, Still dubious consent as hell, Ten years later and Lotor is still angry about his broken heart, Whole lotta scheming will be going on both sides of the galaxy against Lotor and against Allura, more hurt than comfort most of the time, updated and revamped version of the original fic that is on fanfic net
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-20 13:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16137905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotornomiko/pseuds/Lotornomiko
Summary: For good or for bad, it's evolved past the mere fix up stage. I don't yet know just how drastic a difference the overall fic will be, but as it stands now, during the rewriting of chapter three, Lotor is revealing feels that should have at the very least, been later in the fic. I'm still trying to keep the overall vibe of the original intact, but who knows how much more this story will change as I go over each chapter.As for the story itself, it's been ten years since Lotor took the crown of Doom for himself, and approached Allura with his heart in his hand. Only to end up brutally and publicly rejected, his heart left in shambles. In the decade that has passed, Arus has declined further and further, until Allura and her world are left with no other choice than to seek the aid of the man she had so devastated.Lotor had always known this day would come, the day when Allura would have to come crawling back to him. He agrees to help save Arus but at a huge personal cost to Allura. Neither his wife, nor his slave, she'll be his to do with as he pleases, his lust and his hurt near insatiable in this regard. Not all of Doom however, is happy to see Allura back In their King's life...





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Cost Of Regret](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/420692) by Lotornomoko. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard Disclaimer Time. I do not own Voltron, nor the characters of Lotor and Allura. That honor belongs to World Events Production. I make no money off this fic. It's purely done for entertainment purposes, and the fact I need a creative outlet for the ideas in my head.
> 
> Disclaimer two, this is not a very nice Lotor. He's been hurt and angry for a long time. I'm not even sure how to classify this story, if it deserves the romance category or not. It's very smutty though....^^;;  
> \-----Michelle

It’s those eyes that first draw my attention, colored so pretty a shade of blue, and glistening with a look I’ve not yet often had the privilege of seeing. At least not on her, that desperation there, a look that I find suits Allura all too well. It’s partnered with a gleam that hints at a barely leashed panic, the woman already besides herself before I’ve even spoken a single word to her. She is the very embodiment of fear, and it is a terror that has been born long before I had ever even considered stepping inside this room. It’s an enticing mix of anxiety, all her worries brought to life and magnified by my actions. By the hesitation, Allura having been made to consider the all too troubling and real possibility that I might turn her away. That I might send her away before she can get what she is in so desperate a need of.

It’s the utmost in ironic, how the need and positions have changed, how I am no longer the one desperately running after that which I have needed and craved more than life itself. I can’t help but smirk over the reversal of the situation, finding it beyond funny how Allura for once, is the one forced to do the chasing. It gives rise to an air of perverse satisfaction in me, that smug delight that I don’t even make the attempt to feign in not feeling.

“It’s been a while.” For all my twisted amusement, my voice itself lacks emotion to it. Instead the words come off cold and distant, as though mine Is a heart completely indifferent to this woman and her reasons for coming here. That she doesn’t like that, is all too apparent, the shock of it leaving Allura completely unguarded in the moment. Showing just how unprepared she had been for the reality of this meeting, and the difficulties that will need to be faced. All because I am not the man she had once known, not the prince so in thrall to his lust, that he had been ripe and ready pickings, ever so easy to be taken advantage of. 

No longer so thoroughly ruled by my desires, I instead use them to get whatever it is that I want. Money, power, women...entire kingdoms crumble apart before me, my reach such, that it is beyond any ONE planet. It’s an empire that I control, a galaxy mine to command. I no longer fall over backwards to please, and there is no one’s bidding but that of my own that I do, any decisions that I make all for the sole furthering of my own goals and ambitions. 

There is no ambition I hold more personal, than that of the woman before me. No desire is stronger, than to see Allura’s complete and utter ruin, the woman brought to her lowest in an attempt to appease the shattered remains of the heart I had once handed her. It’s an intoxicating feeling, to have one’s revenge finally in reach. She doesn’t even seem to realize it, doesn’t yet recognize the true danger before her. She tries to revert us back to a simpler time, tries to extend a familiarity that she has no real right to.

“Lotor...” 

I do nothing save to coldly assess her with my eyes. That is enough to bring an instant regret to her, Allura coloring in a bright pink cheek embarrassment. She actually needs a moment, exhaling s shaky breath before the woman can recover.

“Your Majesty....” She corrected, Allura withdrawing all pretense at maintaining that closeness, at claiming a friendship we do not have. Not now, and not ever, and it’s been through no fault of my own, that things are this way now. It was Allura who had seen to it, Allura who had insisted on things being this way. On titles and the distance such propriety gave us. 

 

“Queen Allura….” There’s no real interest feigned in the acknowledgment that I do give to her, no warmth to color my eyes as I stare her down. I give her nothing but that cold amusement, and an even chillier tone. “I was not expecting you to come all this way to the heart of the Doom Empire.” That lie spills easily across my tongue, it’s laugh lodged in my throat as I think on how Allura has had no other real choice. Not when Arus and it’s people are suffering, denied the aid that they are in so desperate a need of. I’ve shown not one ounce of caring, refusing Allura’s every attempt to earn help, everything from her calls being ignored, to the shredding of the letters and many penned petitions that she has sent. They’ve barely been spared so much as a single glance, this cold practicality of mine leaving the young queen with no other true option than to come and attend to me in person. She’s had to swallow a whole lot of her pride, and along with it just the smallest of tastes, Allura at last learning what it feels like to be so thoroughly denied the getting of something she is in so desperate a need of.

It’s only one part of the lesson, that denial and the desperation a fitting reward after all that damage that Allura has done. All that heartbreak and refusals, the dashed hopes and dreams she has given ME. I find it’s long been time to pay back that favor, our roles reversed so that the young queen will learn first hand that I am now no more merciful than she had ever been when in our dealings together. In fact I am WORSE, my shattered heart no longer capable of even an attempt at pretending otherwise. Crushed by her, by Allura’s disinterest and rejection, mine will see that she is not the only one to have suffered in return. All of Arus will, all of that world already HAS, Allura’s people starving and sick, actively dying by the day. That death toll rises by the hour on that war stricken planet, no one around to protect them, no one around to care enough to even try. Not even Voltron, or the would be heroes that had once piloted it, no savior of any sort to be found within reach. 

With no other options, and no real hope for the future, it’s a desperate queen that had turned to the most reviled of her past. To the love sick prince of her memories, the man who had been so eager to rush to do Allura’s bidding at the slightest snapping of her fingers. It is that Lotor she comes in search of, that she tries to find even a thin sliver of inside me. Those pretty colored eyes, try and work their magic, try to drown me in their blue depths. It is as though she hasn’t yet realized it, hasn’t yet accepted that the man she had come in search of, is long gone. Not even a fragment of that Lotor remains, a King birthed in his place instead. A man so powerful and commanding of an Empire so vast that it dwarfs Allura and her pitiable planet.

Both Allura and her world are now entirely beneath my notice. It has taken years for it to get to this point a decade long endeavor of personal growth needed, a whole lot of time and effort put forth, so that I could be this way now. It’s not just Allura who has had realizations to make. It’s been myself, the man that I now am, discarding the prince I had once been, that Lotor absolutely useless when it came to getting anything that he had ever wanted. That youth would have never been able to do it, would have never been able to maintain his distance or that of the silence. He’d have failed at maintaining the complete lack of interest Arus and it’s many problems give me, too quick and too eager to go play hero on just the chance of Allura’s approval. 

The Lotor that I once was, would never have had the fortitude to wait. To sit back and watch as Allura came crawling back to him. The Lotor of old simply wouldn’t have had it in him to be the driving force that this situation now needs. It is my cold indifference, that complete shut down of any lingering feelings that might have once remained, that has brought the Arusian here. It is her feeble and fading hope that enough has not changed, that there still exists some spark of affection that she can now twist and use against me. It’s that spark, that chance of it still being there in some shape or form, that is all Allura has left to cling to. It’s all that she can hope to use in her desperate bid to improve her planet’s situation.

She’ll come away disappointed for that. I’ve no real feelings left that Allura can use to manipulate me towards her whims, no chance and no hopes of anything but my desires being met this day. It’s a fire she plays with, MINE, and I will leave her burnt for the attempt. 

There’s not a doubt in my mind about that. I know her. I know that Allura is still the same bleeding heart, the same earnest soul that works for the good of the people. She’s still the woman that would starve herself if it meant a single child could eat just a little more. She makes herself vulnerable, with that willing and self sacrificing nature, but all of her honest intentions won’t amount to squat in the end. Because it’s not a saint that she faces, but the ultimate in sinners, and my price WILL be paid if Arus is to be saved. 

Almost giddy with the thought, I still keep that stern disinterest in place. Still play at being bored by her very presence. I cant help but wonder what Allura makes of this new me, if that lack of feeling makes her think she is safe from my notorious lust. She’s not, as she’ll soon learn, once the terms of Arus’ saving has been laid out between us.

“I had to see you.” Allura breaks into my thoughts, all her desperation and hope aglow in that blue gaze. Those eyes have stayed locked on me, tracking my every breath and movement, as I go to stand before the room’s window. I make a show of staring out at a view that is so vastly different from what it once was, a now thriving city built up around the castle that is still my home. But those buildings, and the people on the streets below then, are not what how my attention. It’s Allura, my eyes intent on studying that reflection of hers that is on the glass. I take in her ethereal beauty, but more than that I enjoy the way that she is fidgeting with her hands, such an act not only betraying a nervous tic, but broadcasting her increasing upset to the entire room. She is bothered by what is happening, bothered by the fact that I have made no real response to her words, Allura going so far as to bite at her bottom lip as though fighting back some harsh recrimination.

“Why have you ignored me? She then asks, and even her voice sounds weak. Vulnerable. "Why have you refused my calls...?"

"I am a busy man, your Majesty." I tell her. "I simply do not have the time to speak with everyone who would call on the ruler of the Doom Empire." Her reflection seems to wince at that, surely because Allura remembers a time when I wouldn't have ignored her calls.

"What about the letters that I sent? The official requests? Surely you had time to look them over...." But the uncertainty is in her voice.

"I have." I don’t leave her time to be relieved. "My decision remains the same. Doom will no longer send aid to Arus."

"Why?" A single word, but all the hurt, bewilderment she feels, is in it. 

"It's got nothing to do with me." I sound unfeeling. "Or Doom."

"But..." She shakes her head no, looking as though she might start crying. "Your Majesty, Arus needs that help. We need that money, and we need those soldiers. Without Voltron…"

"You're all but defenseless I know." I interrupt her. "But as Arus as it now is, is a worthless planet. Far too in debt to ever repay the Empire for the aid we've already given it in the past."

"We gave you Voltron." She points out. "Surely that…"

"Just how much worth do you put on that robot?" I demand harshly. "It's been ten years, your Majesty. Ten years without a return on the Empire's investments. Voltron could only buy you so much help....without something of equal value, I'm sorry to say the Empire cannot help you."

"Lotor!" Again she attempts to break free of the distance our titles would give us. "More of my people will die without your help...!"

"And I should care?" I ask. She twists her hands together, those eyes looking very much like they will start to cry. I would relish those tears, savor her upset while giving Allura the push that drives her further into the pits of desperation. 

"You once would have." She finally points out, Allura unable to completely hide the frustration boiling to life in her eyes. She’s closer to understanding, to realizing that I’m no longer willing to do just about anything in an attempt to please her. It’s slowly starting to sink in to her that it’s not about a misguided feeling, that it’s no longer her love that I lay claim to, if she is at all wanting me to care about her pathetic planet and it’s people. Gone are the days of my desperation, the sweet effect of that new resolve, resulting in Allura longing for the old days of our past. 

“That was a long time ago.” Is my retort. “I have since become a very practical man.” I still won’t turn to look at her directly, instead keeping a careful eye on the window’s reflection."Show me there is still value in Arus, still a reason for the Empire to loan you money and ships and the soldiers to fly them. Give me a reason to help your world."

"It's the right thing to do."

"The right thing doesn't always benefit the Empire. The right thing won't bring a return on the Empire's investments, won't make up for the soldiers that might die fighting your wars. It won't give me a reason to explain to MY people why we waste time defending a world that is worthless."

"Lotor....please....." Her voice actually cracks on a sob. "I am begging you...Help Arus..." She is blinking rapidly, all in an effort to keep from outright crying. 

"No." I start to say. "The Empire will not…"

"I am asking, begging YOU not the Empire....if...if ever I meant anything to you..." 

"How terrible of you Allura. Trying to manipulate me like that." My tone turns even colder now. 

"My people are DYING. We don't even have the money to take care of ourselves. Please..." She takes a shuddering breath, head lowering. "I would do anything...." That word is laced with heavy meaning, but even then I do not pounce. I've waited ten years for this moment, a few minutes more won't hurt.

"Anything Lotor..." Allura continues, stressing the word. "Anything at all…"

"This meeting is over with." I say, turning away from the window. Her blue eyes have turned dark, so swollen are they with Allura’s tears. It doesn't hurt to see them, nor does it inspire a need to offer her any type of comfort, I’m simply that immune to her distress. 

"Please...." Allura begs one last time, daring to reach for me with her hands. "I cannot go back to Arus without your promise to help us..."

I evade her touch but stop trying to go for the door. "And if I did help?" I ask. "If I lent you the money out of my own personal fortune, extended my hand rather than that of the Empire's?" She didn't so much as nod, just watching me with those wet, desperate eyes. I know that to Allura, it didn't matter where the money came from, just so long as she got it's promise. "What then?"

"Arus would be grateful..." She seemed to realize that that wasn't enough. "I would be grateful."

"Gratitude is not enough." I inform her. "You will step down from your throne. You will give up control of Arus to me." I give her a bland smile. "I think we both can agree Arus will prosper far better under my guiding hand than it ever did yours."

She is ashamed then, Allura's cheeks turning red with embarrassment. But she can't deny that Arus has practically been ruined under her rule. For all her earnest attempts, Allura had never been able to get Arus out of it's financial slump through traditional means.

"I'll have my secretary prepare the paperwork." I continue, once again moving. I am almost out the door, when I pause. Acting as though the thought just occurred to me. "There is one more thing..." 

She turns to look at me, so weary and defeated in the moment. "You will come to my bedroom this evening." I say it in such a way that there is no room for argument. There is no stopping tonight, no delaying what has always been inevitable. I will take the ultimate payment from her, and such is her lack of choice, that Allura can’t even truly protest. She doesn’t so much as gasp, doesn’t so much as have a reaction until after I am gone from the room. She must not remember just how sharp a hearing Drules have, even a half breed such as I, my ears picking up every second of her distress. The sounds of her sobbing and heartbreak, and it’s all I can do not to start laughing, drunk off my imminent victory. 

I’ve waited for what felt like forever. Waited and plotted, eager for the day that Allura would have no choice but to fall into my grasp. It’s been a decade long undertaking, ten whole years passing, and not an hour going by without my being reminded in some way of the day she had so thoroughly rejected me. Allura had spit on my love, and had turned her back on everything that I had had to offer her and her planet. She had broken my heart, ripped it apart so completely, that I and my love had been ruined. In that moment I had both died and been reborn, vowing to myself that one day I would destroy her, stripping Allura of every thing of value in my attempt to finally obtain her. I’m not the Lotor that had once loved her, but then she’s not the same person either, Allura now someone entirely different. It doesn’t make it any less sweet to watch her fall, these hands of mine ever so eager to finally catch hold of her. 

 

To Be Continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a revamp….the original is still up on fanfiction net. But I am trying to fix up the story, before posting it over here. It’s been a few years since I’ve written anything for the Voltron universe, and I like to hope my writing has improved since then…
> 
> Most of what was changed in the first chapter was the opening pages...a fair chunk of the middle didn’t get changed too badly aside from a few words here and there. And I touched up on some of the ending paragraphs too.
> 
> This is a rather dark story...It starts out dubious consent as best, def goes into non con territory too….And it’s very explicit a fair chunk of the times. 
> 
> I’m actually drawing a blank on what else to say...sorry….off to post and tag!
> 
> Minor updates done on 9/30/2018. Because I shouldn’t try to post when I am passing out, in desperate need of sleep. Now I am dying of embarrassment over all the typos from last night!
> 
>  
> 
> \----Michelle


	2. Two

I am no longer capable of holding back. I don’t even try, the act almost cathartic after how long I have kept a tightly checked rein on such bitter emotions. I give in completely to the gut wrenching sobs that make my entire body shudder, the relief there paling in comparison to the true terror that I feel. I can’t even be happy, can’t even lay claim to feeling relieved now that Arus’ future has been secured, it’s people about to be saved. That that world and it’s citizens would finally be given the chance to thrive, Arus rebuilt and made to prosper under the Empire’s rule. 

The tears are bitter at that, my frustration and helplessness, the dying of my hopes and dreams, all channeled into the realization that I hadn’t been enough. That I had never been enough, my failure and inability to be what Arus has needed, leading me now to this last, final, desperate act. To the Empire, to it’s cold and callous heart, and it’s even more volatile ruler. 

Lotor.

He’s not changed much in the years since I last saw him. He is still so frightening, so cruel, still so intent on my subjugation and suffering. There hadn’t been any chance, any real hope of it being otherwise, and yet I still feel suckered punched by his demands. By the stipulations that he has put in place, my crown and my kingdom stripped from me, and with it soon the last of my dignity. My cheeks burn, and with it, the tears come even harder, the thought that I’m finally gong to be his, nearly breaking me down completely.

I fall to my knees in a weeping fit of despair. It’s both the anticipation and the fear of the unknown, and a lifetime of sorrow, all my pain and regrets of what should have been versus what it is now. It’s been a rough life, and an even tougher ten years, Arus knowing no end to it’s suffering. Never a particular well off planet, it’s decline has continued, to the point my world has sunk so low as to be considered worthless. It’s been one financial burden after the other, a once lush world barely able to sustain itself, let alone the bottomless debt that has fallen onto the shoulders of it’s people. 

A farm world at best, Arus has had to devote all of it’s resource towards staving off the many owed. My people are left to starve as a result, money hungry and desperate for the food and the medicine that we have had to sell off. It’s changed us, changed the way that we think and act, Arus a planet whose people have turned against one another. We’re a sad, desperate people, fighting wars that tear us all further apart, so many of Arus ready to steal, murder, and otherwise hurt, willing to turn on a friend, to even sell out family, if it would make any ounce of a momentary difference. 

I can’t bear what Arus has become. It’s a burden I can no longer shoulder alone, a wound I can no longer stand aside and let fester. I do what I must to help, have tried for the better part of a year to reach out, demeaning and debasing myself for a mercy that is not there. To save Arus I would do anything, anything, even sell myself to the highest of bidders. 

That I have done exactly that gives me no true solace. Maybe it never will, so long as I can’t reconcile myself to the fact that Arus, that I, have had no other choice. My world and I hold little value for anyone not of that planet. We’re nothing more than easy pickings, bullied and so downtrodden for the vultures that gather. 

There has been no shortage of those, the galaxy itself having change substantially over the course of the past ten years. It had to, under the control of the Empire, Doom having transformed itself into this near unstoppable force under Lotor’s rule. Under his command, planet after planet has fallen, defeated and consumed, to be part of the ever growing mass of military might. With so many worlds captured and converted, with so much power behind it, the ships and the people needed to fight it’s wars, the Empire has crushed and stamped out all resistance. Even the once diligent and stalwart Alliance has crumbled, it and Galaxy Garrison disbanded, no one left to try and right the wrongs of a Universe gone mad. 

The Denubian Galaxy has irrevocable changed, entire worlds clamoring for a chance to become part of the mighty Doom Empire. It’s no longer a fate more horrible than death, no longer something to be feared, so many people eager to be embraced within the folds of Lotor’s kingdom. They want just the chance of it’s wealth, just a chance at it’s promised protection, the planets under his control thriving. Prospering beyond belief to the point that so many worlds turn a blind eye to the less then favorable side of things. For a chance at it’s money, protection, and the lasting peace Doom promises, so many actively accept the fact that slavery and abuse of all kind still exist.

It sickens me that attitude, that greedy self serving nature of so many. They want peace, but more than that they don’t want to die, or live out their life in the kind of poverty that Arus has continuously known. My world and it’s suffering stands as testament to just what happens to a world that has tried to resist the Empire, Arus an example whose footsteps no one wants to follow in. Not when we’re barely surviving, having struggled for so long, sustained only through the Empire’s generosity. 

It’s not a generosity borne through any kindness and compassion. It’s been built on the back of my people, on the selling off of Arus’ soul. We’ve had to use Voltron itself to buy what little aid we could get, and now even that much is not enough. Doom is through with being generous, the Empire pulling back all of it’s aid without so much as an explanation offered. I’ve spent months trying to get answers, going through channels both proper and not in an attempt to contact and petition the Empire’s King. Until at last, in my final moment of desperation, I have made the journey to Doom. 

Foolishly, I have allowed the tiniest fragment of hope to blossom within my heart. It had sprouted to life inside me, and had only grown stronger when I had not been turned away. I had felt Arus’ salvation was finally at hand, no matter what price I might have to pay for it, yet I still had been unprepared for the reality of the demands Lotor has made of me. It hurts, this reality where all this ruthless disinterest has now led me---US to, so little changing. It’s still the same song and dance, his bed the motivating force that pulls us both in different directions.

Lotor doesn’t care. He’s too selfish and cruel, using Arus to get what the man has always wanted. As a slave, or as his wife, it’s never much mattered to him. It’s never much mattered to me either, either fate something to be avoided, and yet here I now am. Not a slave, but not his wife, I’m little more than an expensive whore he has bought for one night. That Arus will be saved, can’t stop the shame and bitterness from filling me, or keep that angry longing for the past at bay.

He’s not the Lotor I had once known. He’s not the man who had once loved me, no longer so quick and eager to do anything that I might have asked in an effort to win my approval. He’s something so different, so cold, shaped and molded by the refusals. By the complete rejection I had handed him, the breaking of his heart so thorough that it had destroyed any semblance of affection Lotor had ever felt. Any semblance of genuine and positive feeling. He HAD loved me, a love that I hadn’t believed in, a love that I hadn’t wanted or understood. I still in part don’t, but the fact remains that he had proved it. Not in words, and not in flamboyant actions, but in how he had left me and my planet. 

Alone.

Without any further attempts, without so much as a word, Lotor had given up on us both. On the conquering of my planet, and on the idea of forcing me to be his bride. 

At first it had been a relief, to be free of the burden of his attention, the madness of Lotor’s desire. Without it, and without the constant threat of Doom, Arus had looked ready to start on it’s much needed recovery. Back then none of us had realized just how impossible an endeavor it would be, the strain it would have on our people, on our resources, even on our day to day lives. The war with Doom had simply done too much damage, over twenty one years worth, and we hadn’t a real clue as to what we were all in for. Certainly I hadn’t. Too angry and self righteous, secure in the knowledge that I would rather die than become Lotor’s. I hadn’t been able to see the big picture, hadn’t been able to realize it wasn’t just my future that I was throwing away.

Arus has suffered for my unrelenting stubbornness. For my pride and self preservation. For all my struggles, and for all my refusals, I’ve nothing real to show for it. No victory to savor, the inevitable nothing more than delayed by ten long years. I shudder with that, not knowing exactly what to expect, save that of a reckoning. One borne of a lust that has gone unsatisfied for over a decade now. It’s an end result I had never dared dream of, Arus and it’s situation such that I had never thought I would be driven to return to the man I had so devastated.

There’s a lot I haven’t been able to anticipate, and that includes the handing over of Voltron. My father’s legacy gone, bartered away in a feeble attempt to recoup the monumental financial losses that Arus has continued to suffer. The war recovery efforts ate into money the planet simply no longer had, so much time, effort, and resources spent towards the helping of other worlds. We had spread ourselves thin, rushing to play savior to all, with no one to rescue us in turn. It didn’t stop the other planets from begging, from crying out for Voltron, and the temporary reprieve it would gain them.

Powerful though the robot was, it could not be everywhere at once. A fact the growing Doom Empire was able to take advantage of. New strategies were put in place at the behest of the newly crowned Lotor, his people no longer devoting so much of their time and resources to Arus and fighting it’s champion. Gone was the single minded focus on the planet, the Drule threat expanding to take on half a dozen worlds at any given time. For every world Voltron managed to save, at least five fell to the Empire’s advance. 

With each planet captured, Doom only continued to grow. With it went all of Arus’ chances, each world caught, one less we could turn to for aid. The galaxy changed by leaps and bounds, it soon became a free for all, alliances falling apart, relations turning sour, neighboring worlds turning against one another. It was no longer the Drules alone that were the aggressor, the galaxy awash with the violent mob mentality of the desperate striving to survive. More and more turned to Doom, more and more saw the Empire as the only viable option.

Arus itself was made to swallow it’s pride. To beg and barter for the Empire’s benevolence. It wouldn’t come easily or cheaply, but then my people have been in so desperate a place, needing the financial support that Doom could offer us. We’ve given up so many of our freedoms, and we have given up Voltron. Both acts have only gotten us only so much, the money and the protection of Lotor’s kingdom lasting for only a short time. We hadn’t known we were only making ourselves more vulnerable, not understanding that we had not bought a permanent place into the monstrous entity that was the Doom Empire. It had been only a temporary relief that Arus had gained, and the vultures had been gathering, enemies both old and new awaiting the day that the King would withdraw his support from our world. Time simply hadn’t been on our side, it had never been, the hurt dealt us when Doom left that second time worse than anything Zarkon had ever tried to do to Arus. My kingdom was again left in shambles, but now the poverty and ruin had become even worse. The people already made so desperate, had then turned against one another, turned against me, civil war erupting all over the planet. Arus has been dying ever since, losing it’s very soul piece by piece by the day, it’s citizens tearing each other apart in a massacre that has no end. It’s left me with no real choice, no other option save to come to Doom. 

The Empire and it’s King, my one and only hope, Lotor’s feelings have also been a very real fear. There’s a part of me that had known, that had suspected he would want to pay me back for the heart break I had dealt him. I thought I had been prepared for it, both the rejection and the chance that he might turn me away weighted down by the worry of what I would do if he did NOT. 

My people and my planet stand on the verge of salvation. It all hinges on what I do next, if I can take the final step over the cliff side that will see me fall lower than I have ever before been. I wonder if I am strong enough, if I have the courage needed to face what is to come. It’s a doubt that nips at my heels, follows me all the way through the castle to the King’s private quarters. That doubt brings with it a fear that nearly crushes me in place, every unwilling step forward bringing me closer to being in his bed. It tests my resolve much the way that Lotor himself tests out my desperation, the entire castle holding it’s breath to see whether or not I will run away.

To that end I have no real escort. No soldiers to keep me from changing my mind. I’ll either be revealed as desperate but honest, or as a coward who once again leaves Arus to pay the price for my refusal. Do I put my pride before my planet? Do I dare avoid Lotor simply to keep my humiliation at bay? I war with myself the entire way there, but my feet keep taking the steps forward. It’s my feelings for Arus that moves them, that moves me, my love such that I cannot abandon that world or it’s people. That love doesn’t make what I have to do any easier, my strength itself sapping piece by piece until I am visibly shaking. 

There are eyes on me. I catch sight of the cold amusement gleaming in their feline depths. Their whispers follow after me in my wake, the Drules milling about the castle laughing, openly relishing my pain. I pretend that I can’t hear what they are saying, act as though I am unaffected by their stares and what we all know I go to do. It’s my head that is held high, my tears that are kept at bay, my fingernails digging into my palms in a way meant to distract. It doesn’t stop the trembling, can’t quite keep in place my mask of indifference. Worst of all, it cannot stop the feeling I have of suffocating, every exaggerated breath a harsh rasp to my ears. 

My chest is heavier yet with my dread, with my panic, by the time I reach the final leg of my excruciating journey. Those beetle black doors loom ominous, the gold emblazoned knobs polished to a perfection so that I can catch my distorted reflection in them. I look a fright, so wide eyed and trembling, that shaking hand of mine hesitating, so that my knock can barely be heard over the breathing that I am struggling to get under control. 

It still gets a reaction, the door easing open at that slight touch from me. My shuffle forward is ever so timid, stepping into the empty foyer of a receiving chamber. Lotor is nowhere to be found, and I don’t know if I should be relieved or not. Is it better to delay the inevitable, or just get it over with? I simply don’t know, and I find myself repeating the reminder that I don’t have to go through with this, when the door slides shut behind me. I immediately whip around, but there is no lock that has been engaged, the message clear. I can still leave, still turn my back on everything, on Arus. The lack of lock almost invites me to be selfish, and THAT gets my jaw to stubbornly set. My chin lifts higher, and I step more firmly into the room and still there is no Lotor. But signs of the King’s presence are everywhere, from the colors chosen to decorate the room, to the lazon mounted on the walls, to the bar in the corner. It’s an array of colorful glass it holds, all manner of bottles holding the most expensive drink that the Denubian Galaxy has to offer. He certainly has the money for it, a small smattering of wealth on display, a feast laid out, gold and jewels spilling out of an overstuffed chest in one corner. I can’t help turning a covetous eye towards that money, thinking how many of Arus’ problems could be solved with even this much.

I’m so busy thinking of Arus, of it’s problems, because it’s all that I have left. It’s that or go screaming mad, and then I am choking on a half formed giggle, realizing I don’t even know what protocol to follow. Am I to pour myself a drink? Strip myself of all my clothing? Take the steps needed to ready myself for his possession? What will give HIM the most satisfaction? I don’t know, my trembling increasing, my anxiety mounting the longer that the King does not show himself. 

He makes me WAIT. It’s purely sadistic in purpose, a game designed toward the heightening of my agitation. I twist my fingers together, and grit my teeth, waiting and waiting, until I can no longer hold still. I then take to pacing the length of the room, my idle gaze drifting over the vibrant works of art painted on the walls. It’s a world that I am looking at, though at first I think I cannot hope to place it. That moonlight expanse, the glow across the waters, the dark green of the forest at night, it’s all wildly familiar, though I can’t yet place my finger as to why. Maybe I never will, my thoughts scattering as the door to the bedroom finally opens with a whoosh of air. I actually jump in place, whipping around towards the source of that sound, and meet his cold gaze. For all that he is about to receive, Lotor is still so distant and pragmatic, so otherworldly dispassionate. 

It’s so wildly different from the lust of ten years ago. There is not an ounce of excitement betrayed to me, no softening of his expression, no gloating gleam in his eyes. There’s only that rigid control, and a complete lack of apology, Lotor offering no excuse for his delay. There’s also not a whole lot of clothing to be found, the Drule clad only in a loosely belted robe. With every step forward, that artful arrange of silk slips open more, revealing plenty of his body in the process. What I see, cuts an impressive, imposing figure, the Drule a chiseled perfection in a cold, cruel form.

He’s terrifyingly beautiful. He’s both a work of art to be visually admired, and feared, and I can’t stop myself from taking a step back. He doesn’t even hesitate, doesn’t show any reaction to my shaking, or how my body stiffens at his dawning approach. I brace myself for impact, expecting a grab, a kiss, something, and come away with nothing. Not a touch of any kind, Lotor giving me the latest jolting shock of my life when he completely bypasses me for the bar. 

The only break in the silence is that of the liquor being poured. That golden amber doesn’t come close to matching the golden brilliance of that gaze fixed firmly on me. It’s unsettling the manner in which he stares at me, his eyes lacking heat of any kind. There’s no friendly warmth, or that of the old burning desire. It’s as though I am some misplaced oddity that he doesn’t care enough to remove yet. It’s like I don’t even matter, as though I am of so little interest to him, Lotor like a cruel cat with a wounded mouse, holding absolutely no emotion for the prey that he toys with.

I cant bear it, can’t bear this dismissive lack of feelings, but more than that, I can no longer abide the silence between us. For good or for bad, and with every stammering word, I’ll break it. “I...I wanted to thank you again, your Majesty.” 

An eyebrow lifts at that, Lotor lowering himself onto a comfortable looking chair. More of his robe pulls open at that, and I can’t stop staring at what he is flaunting my way. 

“I wanted to thank you for agreeing to help Arus. It means a lot to me...perhaps more than you can realize.”

There’s a longer pause after that, Lotor taking a measured swallow of his drink. I’m not sure what to do, what else to say, my mind drawing blanks in response to all of that blue skin on display. 

“I think we are both aware of how much you value Arus, Allura.”

There’s a twist to that truth, an undercurrent of some kind of resentment, the first real feeling he is betraying, that makes me flinch in response. I can feel the censure in his words, the anger and disgust, Lotor mad over the stupid, foolish choices that I have made, The decisions that had helped lead the planet to it’s downfall. It’s not any care and concern for the people, Lotor not giving a damn about anything but how I had hurt him. It’s that rejection again, Lotor furious that for all of my feeling and endeavors towards and for Arus, I hadn’t been able to take the ultimate step towards self sacrifice. It doesn’t matter that I can barely do so now, when the me of ten years ago had both been unable and unwilling to reconcile to such a thought. 

That girl would be horrified to see the woman I now am. To know just how low I have been brought. The Allura of ten years ago would never have imagined it would come to this, never dare think of such consequences erupting from Lotor’s rejection. Most of all, she would have never considered how different things could have been. THAT Allura would have never abandoned her pride, and yet things would have been SO different if she had. If I had agreed to be Lotor’s sooner, if I had accepted him the day that he had all but begged for my hand, so much suffering could have been avoided for my people. For them, and for myself and instead I am left with nothing but the bitter fact that it was by my own hands that my downfall had been engineered.

"I have always lived for Arus." I state. "I have always dedicated myself to the planet and it's people." 

"Somehow I think you will continue to dedicate yourself to the people, even stripped of your title." It’s a seemingly idle comment, but it is as though he has slapped me with such cruelty. I actually reel in place for a second, so suckered punch am I by his words.

"Yes, of course." It’s a dull tone of voice that I speak with. "There is nothing I want more than Arus to prosper, for my people to be happy." I let my uncertainty seep out. "You will see to that, won't you?"

"The ink has barely had time to dry on the paperwork, and already you doubt me." He gives the faintest hint of a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "You wound me, Allura."

"I didn't mean to, your Majesty." I quickly apologize. "I just...just needed to be reassured. To be told all I have done hasn't been a vain sacrifice."

"There are no reassurances in life. You of all people should know that by now." He finishes his drink, setting the glass down. "Now...you know why you are here?" Cautiously I nod, seeing that self satisfied smirk slowly appear. "Then there's no need to waste either one of our breaths with any further attempts at talk." A lift of his eyebrow. "Or do you think to delay what will happen?"

"That was not my intention!" I protest, but my stomach is twisting into knots. "I just...." I silence myself. How can I even think of putting into words what I truly feel. How can I bear the humiliation of it, of trying to make him understand how I wanted this to seem more than what he was making of it. That I wanted the cold sterile feel of this transaction gone, that I wanted this to be something other than just business to him. I didn’t want to be made to feel so thoroughly like the whore he had in truth bought, I wanted the illusion of feelings, of mattering to him. I wanted the lie, wanted the pretense of once again being special to him. 

Those muddled feelings leave me struggling, that shuttered silence between us stretching out. He’s not asking me to finish my line of thought out loud, and for that I am grateful. Less gratifying is when Lotor gestures me closer with a crook of his fingers. I freeze up in response, a mouse caught by his claws, the panic making my mouth instantly dry. And yet I obey. I take a step forward, and then another, watching as Lotor leans back in his seat to appraise my hesitant pace towards him. I don’t want to do this, but I also know I don’t have a real choice in the matter. Arus MUST be saved, and to do that I will do just about anything that would ensure Lotor aid and protect my people.

My nerves take another hit, when he abruptly stops me just short of him. It’s just another step towards prolonging my torture, the man cruelly drawing out the anticipation between us. It’s as though he intends to take all the time in the world, as though Lotor is not aware of just how much I want this to be over with. I just want him to touch me, to get on with it. I want him to do something before I start screaming my head off in panic, before I shame myself so completely with a breaking down. 

“Take off your clothes.” It’s what I wanted, this waiting game at an end and yet something inside me still flinches at the thought of undressing myself. It somehow feels a million times more humiliating than if Lotor had just laid his hands on me, so ill at ease am I with the idea of stripping for him. Of submitting so totally to him, my eyes closing shut in resignation. 

When I open my eyes, there is just that cold amusement in that gold gaze of his. Lotor is far too patient, and far too smug, and Arus is all out of options. I swallow and then use trembling fingers to fumble with the fastenings on the back of my dress. 

The Drule gives me no discernible reaction. He just watches as my clothing loosens, and my face slowly turns redder with my mounting humiliation. That feeling only grows worse by the minute, and I am going under, drowning in my own fear and misery as my dress begins to slip down my body. It lays bare my all too plain underwear, the buttery yellow bra and matching panty set, that has no frills or seductive charm. The sharp quirk of his eyebrow at the sight, makes me think I shouldn’t have even bothered with them, but I am not that shameless. For every bit of skin he wants bared, he will have to ASK.

He looks at my body clad only in those undergarments, and his gaze grows heavy. There is a heat there, an interest he can no longer feign indifference to. My skin practically burns in response, that humiliated color spreading, as Lotor gives a curt gesture that indicates my bra is to come off. My panties follow soon after, Lotor not about to allow me any more attempts at modesty. 

It’s an insolent gaze that inspects me, that turns a critical eye in search of the imperfections of my body. It’s a struggle not to cower, to not try and curl within myself, and use my arms to hide from him. Instead I somehow endure, Lotor looking and looking, and he still has not had his fill. 

“You’re still as beautiful as ever, Allura.” Lotor finally praises me. “Time may not have been kind to your planet, but it has been to you." He can’t stop looking at me. He can’t stop staring. Not even to call me out for my behavior. "Don't you know enough to thank a King when he praises you?"

"Th...thank you." I stammer, fighting to keep my hands from clenching into fists. He still notices the tremble in my arms, and the way that my fingers tried to curl. THAT makes him grin, Lotor’s eyes darkening with a feral intent. 

"I want you on your knees." He tells me, smug with the certainty that I will not deny him this. He’s right, my body slowly lowering, bringing my knees to thump against the carpeted floor. It leave me only a few inches from him, and yet it is a mile that I must crawl. My body reacts on instinct, moving long before that gaze fixes on me in cold demand. 

My lips quiver, my eyes made wide with that nervous look. I can barely breathe, situated as I now am between his spread legs. I can see that substantial bulge of flesh, can smell it’s musk and that of his desire. It is frightening, that part of him that I’ve gone to great lengths to avoid. 

"You know what to do." From the impatient tone of his voice, it is clear Lotor is not going to let me ease myself into it. I brace myself and my nerves, and reach with shaking fingers towards him. There’s the rustle of silk, the fabric easing back as I reveal the King’s full glory. It is impressive to the point of obscenity, the size such I wonder how any human’s body can hope to handle it. Certainly I wonder about MINE, the lovers I’ve had in my past nowhere near as equipped as this Drule.

It’s so startling and distracting a thought, the sight of him leaving me to openly stare. His eyes are on me, Lotor drinking in every second of my shell shocked reaction. Such is my trepidation, that a shudder goes through me, my eyes once again closing. It doesn’t vanquish my demons, doesn’t stop the reality of just what is to happen. Lotor is still there, still waiting when I brace myself to take another look. His cock seems to twitch for my attention, and I swallow back my protests. I cannot control the shaking in my hand, fingers trembling so badly as I reach for him. 

My first impression is that he is like steel, all firm and unyielding to the touch. Then comes the awareness of his warmth, that desire that burns through his veins. It is there that the lust is most apparent, Lotor unable to lie to me with THIS part of his body. This hard, quivering focal point of a need that has had years to build up, the Drule close to bursting, and throbbing to the touch.

My lips part on a sigh, an o of an appreciation that I can’t quite stifle. I may not like the man, may not want the acts that are to follow, but there is no denying the work of art that is his body. I curl fingers that are no less steady around him, lock them in place around that shaft of his. It is a firm fist that I make, giving a slow pump of his flesh. Lotor lets out a hiss, the first true sign of his composure breaking as I lock eyes with him. Those feline eyes are like golden storm clouds, slit in the middle with that turbulent black. I am the one to feel smug now, this one moment devoted to my power over him.

With that life and vitality throbbing against my palm, I feel the first real stirring of hope since entering into his lair. He’s so close, so ripe and ready, and all it will take is just a little more stimulation. I can easily end this, and not have to go any further. I can satisfy us both with my hands, Arus saved and my dignity still mostly intact.

With the next pump of my fist, I hear the dig of his claws into the arm rest of the chair. He’s staring at me, brimming with an open hostility, and a seething desire. My fingers squeeze tighter around him, and I don’t even know just when I have started to gloat, tugging and working over his flesh for all that I am worth. I’m so confidant in the moment, so certain he is about to erupt, when he does EXACTLY that. He surges up out of his seat, Lotor’s sudden and violent action ending with me on my back. It is then that I realize just how much fire I had been playing with, his weight pinning me down. I am so thoroughly trapped beneath him, aware of the press of our flesh together, and the feverish heat of his skin. It burns a brand into me, and it is a wild eyed lust that I look up at, Lotor’s grin positively feral.

The man doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t have to. That look on his face is all I need to understand, Lotor shifting so that that rigid flesh cushions itself between my breasts. Try as I might to deny him, it is still an arresting sight, to see that blue blur against my own pale skin. 

“Congratulations are in order, Allura.” Lotor doesn’t miss a beat in his movements, humping himself harder against my chest. I don’t know where to look, what to watch more of, and only his voice’s mocking tone gets through to me. 

“Congratulations?” A furrowed brow accompanies my frown. “For?”

“Why for Arus of course. You’ve taken the first step needed to guarantee it’s future.” He laughs then, the sound all harsh and strained with the excited rasp of his breath. There’s a smugness oozing out of him, Lotor giving a cruel smirk, as every frantic shift of his hips, brought him closer and closer to that penultimate moment. I’m so distracted by his motions that I almost don’t catch what he is saying, almost miss completely the meaning of his words.

This was just the FIRST step needed. The first in how many more!? I did not know, and it was then I realized my foolishness in brokering a bargain where ANYTHING had indeed been promised.

 

 

To Be Continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fail so MUCH. I tried to keep the spirit of two intact, but a lot got changed...and I am sorta hiding behind my fingers over the little bit of smut at the end. Fun fact, in the orignal draft of this, I had plan for Lotor to do a tit fuck to Allura at some point, but it had never worked into the actual story. Guess it’s finally time for it now. @_@
> 
> This chapter was almost a complete rewrite, even though I tried my best to stick to at least the basic premise of what the original two was like. @_@
> 
> \---Michelle


	3. Three

It’s all boiled over. Every last seething resentment, and open hostility, all channeled into a hot throbbing focal point that is awash with sensation. It is both my anger, and it is my lust, that burning desire that has been steadily building over the past decade, strengthened with a bitterness that is in direct proportion to the unrelenting lack of satisfaction and resolution that I have received. It all kicks back inside me, some deep seated need that snaps apart my rigid control, and leaves me surging out of my own skin to avoid it.

I don’t so much feel as hear the dig of my nails tearing into the plush fabric of the chair, that sound so loud and stark a reminder of the effect that Allura has over me. She knows it too, a look over taking those beautiful blue eyes. It’s a kind of gloating awareness that the woman then shows me, a smugness that goes hand in hand with the power that Allura thinks she still claims over me. I burn furious in response, each pumping pull of those now confidant fingers, bringing to life one volatile need after the other, so many wicked and wild and angry urges inside me. It’s no wonder that I erupt, that I come flying up out of my seat, all domineering motion that sets a startled Allura on her back.

It’s not enough. It will NEVER be enough, that expressed fright and worry only inciting me to do worse. To be the insatiable beast that Allura has always feared me to be. To be the monster, so vindictive and cruel, getting off on her pleasure, her pain, and everything that falls in between. I’ll hold nothing back, push us BOTH to our limits and then some, until the very last of her pride and resistance breaks apart completely. It’s so thorough an owning that I want to do, that nothing less than her soul will appease me. 

She’s already halfway there, bits and pieces of that soul bartered away for her planet. For an unappreciative people, so many of Arus already turned against her. Blaming Allura for her many mistakes, for her inability to be the kind of self sacrificing ruler that they had truly needed. It’s all been too little, too late, this one time Queen knocked off of her pedestal, and even at her lowest, my heart still hurts for what she has cost us both.

That pain can’t seep past the anger and the wild lust of the moment, my grin a rabid, feral thing as I settle my weight firmly on her. She goes tense between my taut thighs, staring up at me with a wide eyed look of incomprehension. It is then that I realize I’ve spoken out loud, that I’ve taunted her with the knowledge that this is but the first of a long list of payments that she will be making. I laugh then, elated, watching the dawning realization and the horror that comes with it.

“First!?” She squeaks out. “The first in HOW many!?”

“In as many as it takes for me to FINALLY be satisfied.” I’m moving as I say this, shifting my body so that my dick is thrust between the softest of cushions, those firm and magnificent breasts of hers. They feel good wrapped around me, pushed together as they are by my hands. I can’t resist giving a squeeze of my fingers, enjoying the malleable sensation of that sculpted perfection and the friction we generate together.

“That is not what I was agreeing to!”

“Oh? Then what WERE you thinking this was?” I demand, my tone a thready gasp of sound that can’t hide how much I am reveling in both the feel of Allura’s flesh, and that of her discomfort.

“A...” There’s a blush spreading across the canvas of her skin, a heated pink that starts in her cheeks, and extends itself downwards to color Allura’s throat. That color only turns darker with her words, and the laugh that follows. “A night….”

“Don’t be absurd.” I lean over her, still working my hips for all they are worth. There’s that delicious friction, and the intoxicating feel that accompanies the heady rush of power that I now flaunt over her. “With the amount of problems that Arus has? With the money, time, and effort needed to fix them? It’s not something that any one person can work off in a single night...maybe not even in a single lifetime.”

There’s the gratifying sound of her gasp, and the less satisfying look of a frozen disbelief. It doesn’t matter that she has a right to her upset and to her fright, the sight of it still makes me blaze angrier. It still can’t kill my desire, my lust spiking stronger in direct proportion to the woman’s distress. It’s all gone so twisted inside me, the lines between pleasure and pain blurring, what is good and what is bad, mixing together with my happiness and my grief. The what if of the should have been given over to the reality of what it is now, and it’s so wrong that it feels right, my anger such that is content to have Allura in whatever way that I can get.

Even like this, with that sheen of unbridled wetness glistening bright in that beautiful but tormented gaze. Those eyes that are colored the same shade of blue as that of a sky in the midst of Arus’ summertime brilliance. Pretty a sight as it is, it hurts to look upon it directly, to see the strong emotion that is the heart of Allura staring back at me. There is love there, so pure and determined, and so thoroughly devoted to that planet. To that world and it’s people, that feeling there something I’ve never been able to come close enough to touch. I’ve never been able to even try, Allura so single minded in her devotion to Arus, that even now she chooses it above all else. Even her pride, and it makes me SO angry, the thought that she hadn’t chosen me. That she has NEVER chosen me, not then and not now, Allura here in my arms, but only because Arus has had no other chance. No other options, the planet in pieces, falling to worse ruin by the hour. 

I had sit back and let it, hating that place and it’s people. Hating the love that Allura has held for them, that feeling that distorts everything between us. Most despised of all? That even that love of hers, hadn’t been enough. That she had still managed, for all her self sacrificing nature, to still be so inherently selfish as to reject what would have been best for the planet. Best for Arus, and best for her, Allura once deserving to be the Queen of my Empire. As my love and as my wife, she would have had it all, Arus safe and secure, the galaxy and it’s many riches laid at it’s feet. Instead she had turned up her nose at the opportunity presented, that haughty dismissal spoken with the cruelest of words imagined. The truth as she had felt it, Allura telling me exactly what she thought of me and my affection for her.

No blow could have been more crushing than the revealed depth of her loathing. The blatant disgust and that deep abiding fear of all things Drule. Even a half breed like me, the Prince who had become King of a whole empire of monsters. To Allura, it hadn’t mattered the good that we could have done together, the change we could have ushered in to Doom and to the galaxy. She simply hadn’t been able to look past my blood, or that of my misdeeds, the many wrongs I had helped commit under my father’s rule.

We hadn’t been given a chance. I hadn’t been given a chance, the many amends I could have made, the forgiveness I could have sought, abandoned by my hand the way thar Allura had my heart. I had left all semblance of that good man, his heart and his hopes at her feet, and set out instead to become the monster she had believed me to be. A tyrant that would have made my father proud, had he been allowed to live long enough to see.

I’ve become something more, something worse than Zarkon had ever been. I’m a man scorned, Allura’s nightmare made flesh, every last horrid belief of hers now made real. I’m all cruel calculation, and depraved intent, more than ten years worth of desire grounding the heartbreak that she has forced me to endure. I’ve been a man deprived, made cold in the absence of the warmth of that light. It’s all bitterness and disappointment inside me, and that zealous ambition, Allura needing to suffer. To not only pay for her sins, but be made to regret just what she had destroyed in the process. 

The few shattered pieces of my heart that remain seem to thrill to the thought. To the idea of all that I would do to her. It’s a greedy, grasping organ that pumps blood through my body, that makes me dick this stabbing warmth between her breasts. Such is my excitement that a steady trail of preejaculate dribbles across that silk smooth skin, my desire such that I won’t last long in this. I won’t even try, needing that edge of my lust taken off, so that I might better focus on the sexual devastation of this woman.

Maintaining my grip, I keep Allura pinned in place, my body pumping furiously between her breasts. She can only stare, still caught up in her shock, in that disbelief over the deal she had so badly brokered. There’s not a word to be spoken, not a thing that can be said in the moment, both our fates irrevocably sealed. I slip and slide over that trembling flesh, and then with a shout, I erupt in truth.

It’s not just a climax of the body, it’s a climax of my SOUL, my voice bellowing out of me in a satisfied roar. I make a sticky mess of her, semen spread all over Allura’s breasts and her collar, even a small dab of it reaching as far as to streak across her chin. I half fall over her, the sweep of my hair falling like a white curtain around us, the panting sounds of my aftermath filling the room as I stare down into blue eyes that are disturbed. She is trying so hard not to cry, just as I struggle with remaining cool and indifferent to the sight, biting back the words of comfort I might have once given.

She’s no right to do this, no right to make me regret or feel sorry for the way that I have treated her. The realization comes on the wave of my returning anger, no time for an afterglow, or basking of any kind. Not when the night is only just getting started, each second infinitely precious and not to be wasted. 

“Clean yourself up and come to bed.” I order as I rise up on unsteady legs. I drop the silk robe that I had been wearing, Allura actively flinching when it hits against her chest. She doesn’t immediately move, too caught up in whatever private thoughts are currently running rampant in her head. 

“Quickly now.” I hiss in warning. “You do not want to keep me waiting.” 

That last spurs her into action. It is both funny and sad how quickly she sits up, Allura grabbing hold of the robe yet still hesitating. 

“This must have been very expensive...” She murmurs, looking down at the black silk held by her hands. 

“Cost enough to outfit an entire legion of soldiers.” I carelessly shrug. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve even MORE like it.”

“More….” That wistful tone speaks volumes, as does her hesitation. I roll my eyes, and step past her.

“Use it or don’t, but do not keep me waiting any longer.”

My bare feet stomp with all the force that I can muster, the plush padding of the carpeted floor unable to completely silence that angry sound. I’m made all the more volatile, my mood WORST now that I’ve been brought to orgasm. It’s because of the feelings that Allura stirs inside me, that festering wound picked open by memories of the past and all of it’s abandoned hope and promise. 

It’s a flood gate of emotion that has been cast open, the good and the bad brought to the forefront of my thoughts. It keeps me from fully gloating, too caught up in the smoldering mess of reawakened memories and their pain. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, Allura wasn’t supposed to have such an effect on me. Such power, this night meant to be the first nail in the coffin of my obsession over her. Instead I am the one affected, feeling as raw and wounded as the first time my heart had been broken by her.

That pain is a stark reminder, Allura a power I need to break free of. She can have my lust and my malice, but never that of my heart or any rare moments of true kindness. She has no right to it, to anything that is left of my heart, or of the man I had once tried to be, that Lotor long dead and buried. The monster is all that should be left, that voracious hunger and need that of which so many women have tried and failed to satisfy and appease.

It’s only fitting that the turn now falls to Allura. To the woman I would have once worshiped, and idolized as the sole center of my universe. Instead she’s just the latest notch on a post of a bed that has seen far too much action. Even that is colored by her choice, the many women I’ve paraded about these very chambers, all a mean to an end. An end meant to let go, Allura this unshakable phantom that I have let haunt me all these years. 

Powerful has been her grip, Allura the one and only woman to have ever left such an impact on me. I have TRIED, woman after woman turned to in an attempt to forget. To break free of that pretty Arusian’s influence, yet not a single one in the bevy of beauties that have come a calling, have had what it takes. Not the slaves, and not the nobles, not the ones who have begged for my time, all that lush loveliness cultivated and culled from every corner of the Denubian Galaxy. The cream of the crop offered, women from all walks of life throwing themselves at me, for all their tears and hysterics, all their seductive calculation, it’s not a single one that I can remember. Not their faces, and certainly not their names, each one lost to the memory of the one and only woman that I have ever loved.

It’s that love that makes her stand out, that has made Allura so special. She had been my everything once, all my hopes and my dreams, the future and the fantasies that I had hoped to make real. I had worshiped and revered her, that gentle patience and understanding something that would have never allowed for the mistreatment that I’ve shown her this night. The hunger and the cruelty, the love twisted, given over to the depraved depths of my unwavering lust. Gone are the precious beliefs, that steadfast idea that given enough time and care, love would ultimately prevail. It leaves vanquished everything but the man who knows better now. Who won’t let such soft feelings get in the way, things determined to go at my own brutal pace.

Nothing is sacred, and Allura has a right to cry. For I am a Lotor who won’t hold back, who won’t give an ounce of care and consideration, or any of the other things I had once thought her deserving. She’ll get no hand holding from me, no gentle easing into the acts that are to happen. Tonight is all about me, my needs, and my satisfaction, the full unleashing of ten years of pent up frustration and disappointments brought to bear against Allura.

To that end I am impatient, every second of her delay, a moment wasted. I’m practically crawling out of my skin, so tired of these games and the wait that goes with them. That wait that has stretched on for over ten years, Allura avoiding my bed for so long. But no longer, my voice a sharp snarl as I call out a reminder

“I don’t like to be kept waiting, Allura.” 

She’s still crouched on the floor, still clutching the now soiled night robe to her. The sharp recrimination of my voice, finally, slowly, spur her into action, Allura rising up off the carpet. She doesn’t immediately turn towards me, as though she is gathering what little strength she has left. I tap a foot in response, my expression all a glower as I wait for her to turn and walk that few feet to me. It’s beyond my capability to feign indifference when she finally does, that anticipation making me sit up taller, the gold of my eyes all a smolder with the wickedest of intent. Allura nearly buckles in response, that weighted look that I give her, enough to unravel even the bravest and most determined of hearts.

My smile is a grim parody of any happiness that I might have feigned, my arm extending its hand towards her. She hesitates, staring at that proffered palm, and then, slowly, touches trembling fingers to it. I immediately close a fist around them, hauling Allura off balance so that she falls the rest of the way onto the bed. As the softest of soft cushions her fall, I note how those eyes slide shut in resignation. I wonder then at the thoughts that must be going through her head, the realization that she is finally here, in the bed she has done her utmost to avoid. It’s all been a futile endeavor, the wicked delight that I feel erupting into a soft chuckle of sound. It snaps her eyes open, the look that Allura gives me both wounded and angry. 

It doesn’t kill my perverse pleasure, or the gloating satisfaction and triumph, my gaze insolent as it lingers on her body. On the breasts that I have so fiercely humped, where the lightest of bruised imprints mark where my squeezing fingers had lingered, to that stiff bit of flesh that makes up the rose colored tips of her breasts. It’s not yet arousal, anxiety the real culprit responsible for her nipples hardened state. I touch fingers to her, just the pads of my thumbs tip, and yet a jolt goes through us both. That sharp burst of electricity, Allura’s back arching in response, and I lose control. I fall on her with all the unleashed lust of a ravenous Drule, my hands sliding and cupping, smoothing over skin, curving around contours. I learn the shape and feel of her, from the pleasantly soft textures, to the tremulous quiver that make her firm breasts jiggle. 

She’s so thoroughly pinned in place by my attention, by the hands that work to strip her of all resistance. That cup and stroke, actively paint sensation into her very flesh with those teasing caresses. It makes her shiver in response, pearl white teeth biting at a plump bottom lip in an effort to suppress the sounds that Allura WANTS to make.

I watch every second of her struggle, nothing slipping by me. Not the tremble of her arms, fingers curling deep into the bed’s blanket, or the stiff way that she holds herself, fighting against pleasure’s instinct in an effort to stop the complete capitulation of her body. It’s a losing battle that she wages, my clever and experienced hands working a surrender out of her, long before I put my lips to her shoulder. I bite at that delicate skin, Allura gasping out a moan, that breathy exclamation one of the sweetest of sounds that I have ever heard. Sweeter yet is her taste, her skin that perfect mix of sweat and soap, Allura tasting faintly of a strawberries and cream flavored body wash.

It’s a taste to be savored, Allura’s flavor once one of the great unknowns of my life. I lave my tongue at her skin, trying for more, kisses peppered over the top most part of the fat globes of her breasts. There’s not an inch of her that I don’t want to sample, to feast off of and get high on just the taste of, my lips brushing over a nipple. With it comes my breath and the hot moisture of my mouth, tongue and teeth tormenting her. It’s a heady mix, Allura letting out mewling gasps of sounds, the tiniest of protests that I pay little heed to. Not even that of her hands sudden push at me, the woman trying to dislodge me, can get me to stop, a sharp snarl of warning escaping me, that sound vibrating against that stiff bit of flesh.

It’s all so arousing, that sweet, intoxicating response. That and the power that I command over her, Allura melting bit by bit and despising us both for it. It doesn’t stop the yielding of her body, that hot eager response, my fingers coming away damp for their questing. There’s no amount of fear that can account for that, her body ripe and eager for the taking. Oh she tries to pretend otherwise, and makes a valiant attempt to keep from splaying her thighs wide open, but we both know better. She’s like a powder keg of sensation, ready to go off at the slightest bit of encouragement. I’m not much better off, my rigid control all but gone, the tingly throb of excited sensation that I feel, marking my recovery as fast even for a Drule. It’s because of her, because of Allura, my body is this way. I’m like a shark scenting blood, that wild, uncontrollable lust driving me mad for this woman, and this woman alone.

With a growl, I abandon my play at things, grasping hold of Allura by the wrist so that I might place her hand on my dick. There’s a gasp and a wide eyed look, Allura speaking.

“Again!?” She exclaims, beyond shocked. “So soon!?”

I give her a tight smile in response, flashing fang in the process. “You’ll find I am nothing like those pathetic human lovers that you’ve had in the past.”

Her cheeks burn crimson at that taunt, Allura trying to jerk her hand free of me. It’s an inadvertent stroke of my flesh that she does, Allura wide eyed and gasping, stammering out an uncertain sound. I make a sound not meant to be soothing, all wild eyed and demanding, hands pushing apart her knees, so that I might fit myself between her thighs.

There’s the hot sensation of her burning warmth to greet me, that and the wetness, Allura so thoroughly aroused as to be soaked. I let out an eager hiss, rub myself fully against that damp flesh, the lips of her sex eager to spread and envelope around me. 

Allura starts to speak, some garbled nonsense about waiting that ends in a wild gasp, my body turning near vicious at the thought of yet another of her attempts at rejection. I sink myself inside her to the hilt in one solid thrust, and even at her wettest, it has to be discomforting, Allura looking wide eyed and shocked. 

My eyes are no better, the shock that I feel born of the fact that Allura fits me like a glove, all snug and perfectly form fitted, and ever so pleasurable. The feel of her around me is better than I have ever dared imagined, Allura this realm of something so infinitely exquisite as to be maddening. She’s a Goddess made real, her body this slice of sublime that can only be a testament to just how much I have felt for her. The good and the bad, and every twisted in between, and I hate her for denying me this for so long.

It’s more than a sensation borne of lust, it’s the connection that I have been missing, the broken remains of my heart so thoroughly fixated on the woman around me. I fall into the embrace of her body with a wild abandonment, hips already so fast and so furious and ever so frantic, every solid inch of me fighting to move against the tight constricting of Allura’s rippling flesh. There’s a desperation to her sounds, and that of her own wild surrender, Allura having given herself over to the climax with a writhing roll of her body. 

I am no better, so wild and out of control, pounding into her with a desperate shout of my own. That wet coil of flesh around me, that intoxicating warmth, and that impassioned sound, I’m drunk of it, drunk off of her, helpless and lost, and ever so angry. It’s not supposed to be this way, I’m not the one meant to know a pleasure this intense and profound, Allura this special kind of something that I will never again find.

 

To Be Continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I fail even worse, cause the story is massively veering off track with the way Lotor is feeling. I’m still trying to use the original as a basis, but I am kinda realizing it’s a bit of a pipe dream at this point to keep them the same….argh…..
> 
> \----Michelle


End file.
